"I did not grow up knowing how to be fierce and kind. I grew up knowing how to be sweet and resentful." -Brené Brown

February 18, 2018

When I first heard these words, I knew they were my truth. And I hated it. Unfortunately, knowing wasn't enough to cause a meaningful change. I've spent the last 3 years knowing this truth and feeling disgusted with my inaction. I'm done with all that now - I am forgiven. How can I speak up if I am not familiar and confident enough in my own voice in the first place?

What do I really think?

Why do I think that?

Does the data support it?

Is there any other possible interpretation?

What would someone who disagrees with me think?

This blog is a means for exploring my own voice and point of view so I can truly be the fierce + kind person I long to be. As of today, day 1, it's 100% for me, but maybe you'll get something out of it too. And maybe someday its purpose will change, as I grow more fierce. By learning to listen to myself, I hope to find the changes I want to make in my own life and in the world.

July 1, 2023

When I read the words I wrote more than five years ago, I’m filled with so much love for myself. She was so earnest. She was trying SO hard. But I as I read the words she posted over the next two years on this blog, I can see how hard she was on herself.

I’m no longer disgusted with myself.

I’m no longer trying to change me or the world.

As it turns out, I never had control to change those things in the first place. I created my own suffering by constantly trying to argue with reality in pursuit of an ever more optimized life.

So where does that leave this blog?

I still feel an impulse to write, but now I do it as an act of pure curiosity and expression. I ask myself questions and I see what happens when I answer them. There’s really no point except to experience the doing of it. Everything else will unfold perfectly, in my life and in yours.