Getting Out of a Funk

I'm in a funk.

My usual rosy outlook and ability to stay calm and productive just isn't present right now. And then I'm frustrated with myself for acting lame and it only exacerbates the crappy feelings. I'm not terribly worried or anything, but this particular bout is lasting longer than usual and it's getting me down. I'm less-focused with work, less-kind with my family, and less driven to do the things that matter to me most. (It's taking everything in me to write this right now and I've already written and discarded three drafts about other, happier things.)

I feel like part of the reason for my funk is that I haven't defined what's causing it. There's some underground reason I'm reacting this way, but since I haven't nailed them down, I can't address them. Therefore, I'm going to use this post to identify all the possible reasons I might be feeling crappy. I told you this blog was just for me. It's not too late to turn back.

1. It's Mothers' Day weekend and I have 3 moms and 4 grandmas to celebrate. I will absolutely not manage to celebrate them in the manner in which they are deserving, as defined by an undefined standard in my head (I already forgot to mail the grandmas' cards) and I wish I could.
2. My husband's grandma is in the hospital after a fall and I haven't been to visit her yet, in part because my oldest has been sick and/or a giant ball of drama for the past week. I feel like a shitty daughter-in-law and it's almost like my perceived shittiness makes me even less eager to go. I need to go tomorrow.
3. As previously mentioned, my oldest is a giant ball of drama right now. He whines constantly and pretty much ignores me most of the day. Yesterday, I literally had to carry him, kicking and screaming, out of jiu jitsu while some amazing mom I'd never met helped make sure my youngest got into the car ok. He's killing me.
4. Business has been slow. I have some prospects and a couple of active projects, but despite a lot of effort, I feel like I'm going in circles right now.
5. It's getting HOT.
6. I'm at my heaviest non-pregnant weight and it bugs me. I know I can fix it if I actually applied effort, but I haven't managed to focus on eating/exercise the way I usually do.
7. I have been investing a lot in personal development and it can sometimes feel like a lot. Usually it's really positive, but it can be a lot to bear.
8. I've gotten behind on my daily planning.

Yes. Those things feel like the right yucky things. And really? SUCH first-world problems that I feel embarrassed to even write them down. But I guess it doesn't matter how ridiculous they are if they're negatively impacting my ability to connect with my loved ones and do important work.

So how do you move past the funk? Is it enough to identify the causes (Or at least your best guesses for the causes)? If I think about the advice I'd give to a friend if they shared this same situation with me, I'd probably tell them to take each of the probable causes and make peace with them. I really don't want to, but let's try...

1. It's Mothers' Day weekend and it's not going to be perfect. Response: Nope. It's not. And also? It's not your job to make it perfect. Go into each event with a heart full of genuine love for the mom at hand and do your best to let that shine through. Be present. Laugh together. Be authentically you. And you'll mail the cards for grandmas in the morning and they'll be so happy when they get them. Enjoy a precious weekend where you get to be with your people.
2. I haven't visited Grandma. Response: It already happened and you can't go back and change it. But you can choose what happens tomorrow. Take a deep breath and start fresh. Anything anyone else thinks is their story. How can you serve grandma tomorrow?
3. My boy is a mess. Response: You know the answer to this very well. It's time to re-connect. He feels like he doesn't have control so he's acting out. And he feels disconnected from you so he's rebelling. Make next week all about him. Celebrate him in as many ways as you can. Make it your job to show him how much you adore him and see what happens.
4. Business has been slow. Response: What you're doing is legitimately hard. Does your gut tell you you're on the right track? Then go with it. It may take some time for your efforts to "work."
5. It's getting HOT. Response: Yes, but why does that have to be something you pull away from. Acknowledge the heat and instead of applying a negative connotation just stop at the noticing. Meditate on it. Hot is ok.
6. I'm chubby. Response: What if you made your health decisions based on how you want to FEEL? How would that change things? You can always choose something different tomorrow.
7. The personal development is a LOT. Response: You chose each of your commitments because you felt you needed to grow in that particular area. And none of them are permanent. See if you can harness that same grit you cling to when a run gets hard. There are beautiful things on the other side of this struggle.
8. I've gotten behind on my daily planning. Response: You get to start fresh tomorrow and you'll already be on-track.

Well, that was weird. I can't tell how I feel about all of this, but it was a comforting exercise to go through. I'm interested to see how I feel in the morning, after a good night's sleep and time to process all of this. I get to choose my attitude and response in all cases. (Even when it feels like I don't have control.) I'm in control.