The Pep-Talk: A Play in One Act
I need a pep-talk.
I’m working on a project that is causing me significant emotional pain. I have this non-specific view of the perfect finished state, but I can’t seem to get there. I procrastinate. I over-plan. I work on the tiny parts and feel like I’m going nowhere. In short, I’m stuck. And I really really really need to finish.
Since I’ve recently realized that I tend to have many insights locked within myself without knowing it, AND since I’m all alone working this morning, I’m going to try to give myself a pep-talk via this blog post. Join me, won’t you?
Aaaaaaand ACTION!
Tamara 1: Brilliant, poised, focused, and clear-headed thinker who never gets riled up about dumb shit.
Tamara 2: Procrastinating whiny-pants who is so caught up in fear that she’s going to fail that she can’t seem to finish anything.
The scene takes place in an empty coffee shop on Labor Day in the morning (Notably NOT at home recharging and connecting with family…just saying.)
T1: So tell me what’s going on.
T2: Ugh, I don’t know. I just can’t seem to move forward with this thing. I want to do it so well. I want it to be freaking amazing. And everytime I make grand plans to get it done, I just get…stuck. It’s like I’m paralyzed and all I can seem to get done is spin around in circles of busy-ness instead of making actual progress forward. I hate it so much.
T1: That sounds awful.
T2: It is. I don’t feel like a professional. I feel like a fraud.
T1: Ok, let’s start there then. What is the evidence that you’re a fraud?
T2: Well…the fact that it’s taken me all these months and I haven’t finished this damned project! It’s just sitting all over the floor in half-finished bits and pieces. Little strokes of brilliance here and there, but ultimately completely unusable. I feel like I’m full of great ideas and thoughts and I’m great at making the plan and organizing the stuff, but when it comes to actually finishing the details, I just can’t pull my shit together.
T1: Can you think of a time when you did pull your shit together and finish the details? And maybe you were even proud of the outcome?
T2: Sure…a work project comes to mind when I had to put together a big, ugly course. It was really hard and involved a lot of moving parts and deadlines to get it together and have it make sense. I was really proud of that one. It turned out really great. I even surprised myself with it.
T1: How did you manage to pull it off?
T2: Well, there was a very clear and concrete plan and schedule for getting the work done. Each lesson had super-clear and measurable objectives and a specific date by which I needed to complete it. All I needed to do was stay the course and keep plugging away and we would finish. I remember mid-way through, we found ways that we could’ve organized things better, but it was too late to change course and so we marked those changes for a later revision and just kept plugging along.
Also, those deadlines were real. As in, if I didn’t finish my part on time, the production people who were downwind of me couldn’t finish their parts on time. So I felt very motivated to get my shit together. Which meant that I sometimes needed to be ok with a part being less-than-perfect in order to get it done on time. I remember that being so painful in the moment, but looking back, it was necessary.
Oh, and I wasn’t actually the one writing the content. I was doing the editing and compilation. Which is so much easier for me. Even if someone turned in a lesson that was absolutely crazy, it somehow made more sense to have to throw away 75% percent of it and build up from that than to start from complete scratch.
T1: I see. So you had…
a clear plan broken into measurable units
constraints around the scope of the project which prevented you from changing course mid-way through
external accountability to finishing each milestone by its due date
help with the more-detailed parts
T2: Yep. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it. (smiles)
T1: Let’s see if we can apply those same strategies to your project at-hand. First, let’s start with the clear plan. Do you have that with your current project? And if not, what would you need to do to put one in place?
T2: I do have a plan, sort of. But I keep changing it. I don’t think it’s specific enough and I definitely haven’t assigned dates to each part. I just keep iterating on the plan instead of doing the work.
T1: Ok, your first assignment for this morning is to complete your final draft of the plan with dates by 9:30am. After this point, you are not allowed to change it. How’s that for a constraint?
T2: (takes a deep breath) OK. I’m freaked, but that does sound relieving to have it done.
T1: Ok, getting that done should resolve your tendency to keep shifting around the plan. Once that plan is complete, you’re done changing it. Promise me.
T2: (raises hand) I promise.
T1: Even if you come up with a better idea?
T2: Even if I come up with a better idea. Because done is better than perfect.
T1: That’s right.
Now, onto external accountability. How can you make those deadlines real? Who can you be accountable to?
T2: You?
T1: No. I’m you, so that won’t work.
T2: My coach. I have a call with her on Thursday and she’ll make sure I get my shit done and she might even be able to help me with any pickles I’ve gotten into from a content perspective.
T1: Ok, Assignment #2 is to send her your plan as soon as you finish it this AM and ask for her help in holding you accountable.
T2: OK.
T1: What about getting help with the content details?
T2: That part is the hardest, because I really should have already gathered everything I needed, but instead of having the other people write the stuff, I just “gathered the notes” and then was going to write it all myself. And now it’s almost too late to have them do it.
T1: Is that true?
T2: I think it is for 90%, but there is probably opportunity to ask for help with the writing on some of the sections. I’ll be sure to note which ones I need help with as I’m making my plan. And for the ones where I really have already gathered all the content, I’ll be mindful that I need to finish it to be ready for review by the subject matter expert…not to have it 100% perfect. Done is better than perfect.
T1: Done is better than perfect.
T2: Also, I may need to tattoo that on my arm.
T1: You’ve got this, sister.
T2: (takes another deep breath) I know. I know I do. It’s time to stop being afraid.
T1: I can’t wait to see what you create. It’s going to be exactly what they need and it’s going to make a huge difference. Remember, that’s the most important part. You’re going to help them with something they couldn’t do for themselves.
T2: Yes. That will be my guiding intention for the day. Making things better for them. I can’t do that until it’s done.
THE END
Phew! Self-Coaching is No Joke!
I’m continually surprised by my ability to help myself through writing. We have so much wisdom inside of ourselves but we let our emotions and endless brain-chatter drown it out. I’m inspired by my more grounded self and excited to get started today. HERE. WE. GO!